Oct. 23, 2012

Dear Family,

My oh my what a week. We've been working with Hashem and kind of pushing him forward to do things, but he's taken the initiative and has been keep commitments now because he wants to. Hashem is for sure getting baptized on the 3rd of Nov. Sunday we met together and talked about tithing and fasting, we had all agreed to fast yesterday to help him receive his answer. We fasted for nearly 24 hours (the longest fast of my life) and it's amazing, but the whole time I didn't feel like I was as hungry as normal and I didn't feel like it was too hard. I know Heavenly Father was helping me. I also think that because I wanted so badly to do whatever I could to help Hashem that it was such a good experience. On Sunday we were chatting with him and it ended up being a really good thing- the Spirit was strong and he really opened up about how he has been feeling with everything. The Spirit has been working on him and I can see it in his face. Last night we met together again to break the fast and talk about the events of the day. He told us that he received his answer Sunday after our chat, but that the fast was a really good thing. He'd been really hesitant before about getting baptized, but now he's set on it. He's told his parents and they've threatened to disown him but he told them that it didn't matter because he knows this is right. He also said that even though he still has some questions, he knows that he'll some day understand. Wow! Talk about faith! My testimony on fasting has really grown and I am so excited for Hashem. I've literally seen a change in him- he was a really good person before, and now there is even more substance in his countenance. There is an actual something there and I can't even describe what it is exactly, but I do know that I see this look in people who accept the gospel and apply the Atonement. I've seen it in Travis and in Martin.

This week in the Battalion has been pretty exciting. I had a really big tour on Saturday and it was one of the girl's birthday. We dressed her up and spontaneously someone not in her group sang Happy Birthday then everyone else joined in. That was a fun tour. And then on a tour after mine (I didn't take this one), a guy proposed to his girlfriend after he dressed up like the soldier! It was a big day.

Family, I am so blessed and I am indescribably grateful that I get to serve in my area and the Battalion. I am grateful that I have been blessed to be in this mission and I love my companion. I can't put in words the depth of my gratitude to Heavenly Father.

I've been studying the Atonement this week and I read a talk about Grace by Bradly Wilcox- Jessica had sent it to me for my birthday. It talked about how the grace of Christ has literally taken care of everything- every sin, mistake, transgression, sadness, pain- everything. We can't repay that, and we're not meant to. Our purpose now is to keep the commandments so we can apply that huge sacrifice and be changed by it. It's not a matter of being saved by grace and not doing anything. We are saved by grace, and we do everything we can to become like Christ. If we don't do everything in our power to be changed by the Atonement, then we will not be comfortable in the presence of God. Brother Wilcox related it to piano lessons. A mom pays for piano lessons because she loves her child. The child doesn't try to then pay for the lessons again, but listens (hopefully) to the mom when she asks him to practice. If he doesn't practice, he doesn't understand why the mom did what she did. The purpose of practice is to apply the lessons and become something- to change from not playing piano into playing the piano. I know that no matter how many times we make a mistake- even if it's the same mistake- we can repent, do everything we can to change, and be forgiven. Repentance doesn't have a limit. We can, and need, to repent all the time. And Heavenly Father's answer is always, "You're forgiven". HE LOVES US SO MUCH! He will always let us repent because as we do so we are growing and changing. No matter how long it takes, He'll be there to help us. His love and patience are infinite. I love when I begin to understand things like this because then I can share it with others who maybe need a reminder that we truly can be forgiven.

I love being a missionary and I pray that I'm doing all I can to be a tool in the Lord's hands. I love you all. Have a great week!

Love, Sister Johnson

Fall?

Oct. 16, 2012

One of the sisters who left in August sent me some pictures of fall and such... it was weird to see dead leaves on the trees and ground. I'm looking out the window right now at trees, bushes, cactuses... cacti?, and sunshine. I'm looking forward to cold weather again, but I think it'll be a bigger shock than I realize. I'm beginning to think that I'm going to actually miss San Diego more than I thought I would. I'm in such a limbo and I don't like it very much. We are so blessed though, and the work is going great!

Beto is still progressing, he wasn't in town this weekend, but we told him where a church would be up in Bakersfield and he totally went! You know an investigator is really interested when they go to church out of town. He's so wonderful- you're all going to love him. And Hashem is really starting to figure things out too. He's been feeling the spirit and recognizing it more. He's being a little stubborn, but I know he's learning it. He's started living the word of wisdom without us even talking to him about it. I love this ward and I'm so grateful to be finishing my mission here.

Sister Brown is still great and has been really helping me as I've been stessed out this week (I'm always stressed). I've determined to focus as much as I am able on every single day so I don't miss a moment or take one for granted. I always thought the other sisters were crazy their last transfers about being worried about going home, now I've joined the ranks and I understand what it was like for them. I'm so excited to see all of you, but I don't want to leave this behind. I've come to love being a missionary and teaching people all the time about Jesus Christ. I love having my day planned and going to see people. I still don't love street contacting, but we've had good experiences there too. I love being missionary minded and inviting people to repent. What am I going to do with myself after this mantle is removed?! I'm going to feel so useless! How am I going to continue inviting people to be better and live the standards and rules that I've been living by? I don't want to go back to Babylon, or crappy music, or the news, or junk in the media, or trashy books, or people staying out after 9 and up past 10:30. I don't want to leave behind the security of sisters I have here who no matter what always have my back. Who am I going to rejoice with when their investigators progress or read the Book of Mormon? Whose baptisms will I go to? Can't I be a missionary and be with my family? People tell me to sprint to the end, but if I sprint it'll be over way too fast. If I don't sprint, I'll regret it. This is too hard, I don't like it.

I hope you have a good week with Alan's birthday and such. Everyone, enjoy a piece of cake in my behalf. I love you all and am praying for you.

Love, Sister Johnson

Another One Bites the Dust

Oct. 9, 2012

Dear Family,

Well, 6 weeks have passed, three more sisters have left and now suddenly I'm the old one in the Battalion. I don't feel like I know enough to be where I'm at. I've been working hard and changing, but I don't feel ready to be where I am. I guess I get to apply Ether 12:27 and let Heavenly Father take weak little me and keep shaping me into the someone He wants me to be.

General Conference was amazing. I had gone into it with plans to receive so much revelation for all of my investigators and not planning on really receiving much for me, but that isn't how it worked out. I actually didn't receive any revelation for my investigators and I received a whole load for myself! Elder Holland's and Elder Hales' talks really struck me about how we can not go back to who we were before we served the Lord- aka I can't be the same person I was. I've been making lists and plans of the person I want to be when I get home, but when it's all said and done I have to apply my new skills instead of just talking about them. Sister Affleck is a new senior sister here and she said a quote by someone, "If you want to change who you are, change the books you read and change your friends." Now, I don't expect an overhaul in my friendships or literature, but there is great truth behind that. It's a matter of refining now. I plan on ridding myself of many of my movies and music, and now I have a great desire to read the Church History books, historical novels about the pioneers and the early saints... I have a feeling Deseret Book and I will become good friends.

I'm scared to face what is waiting for me- and I keep asking myself, "Is Heavenly Father pleased with what I've done? Has he accepted my sacrifice? Has it been enough?" I know that the answers will come, but I think I'll have to wait a few more weeks for them.

One of our investigators dropped us last week, and it wasn't a very good way he did it, but I know that everything happens for a reason. Because Ali dropped us, we were able to find Ryan who is someone I had taken on a tour so it's neat to see the fruits of my Battalion labors. Our investigators are becoming more converted to the gospel and Beto especially is seeing the difference. He asked us last night if Thursday is our only lesson this week. We said, "It's the only one we're planning on, but we can meet more if you'd like." He said, "I'd love that!" Normally we have to be the ones to make more appointments with investigators, so it's really fun when they're the ones asking, "When can we meet next?" He's also been receiving personal revelation from the Book of Mormon. We'd assigned him 3 Nephi 27 to read and he told us that when he read it, he felt like he needed to stop putting work before church on Sundays and he's agreed to come to all three hours of church this week. Heavenly Father is definitely talking to Beto.

 

There are two baptisms this weekend, we haven't taught either of the boys being baptized, but they come to our ward functions and we love them both. We get to go and support them and I am so grateful for their examples in being dedicated to the Lord and the gospel. I've really come to love being a missionary and to teach the gospel. It will make this last transfer really special and a good way to end.

Transfers are tomorrow, but we haven't been called to be prepared to pack so I'm pretty sure I get to stay with Sister Brown and I am so grateful! Heavenly Father knows me and knows what I need. The church is true, the Book of Mormon blesses us and gives us daily strength. It literally does and I've seen that so much! Every time I think about the Book of Mormon it is more impressed upon my mind just how correct and true this book is. It kind of blows my mind a little bit.

I love you all!

Love, Sister Johnson

Transfer 10, Week 6, Oct 2, 2012

I know that I say this all the time and I can't believe it, but the time just goes faster and faster and faster. It's like a roll of toilet paper- the closer you get to the end the faster it goes. I have been so blessed though with a great desire to focus these last few weeks. Yes, I still think about home sometimes and the things I need to do, but I am in no way trying to run home faster than time allows. It's been a big blessing because I've been able to really enjoy the work, and work even harder. I'm so grateful for my mission and the things I'm continuing to learn. I hope I stay at the YSA ward, but we're receiving three new Spanish sisters next week and there is a chance I'll get transferred (I really hope not though). I'll be hurting if that's the case because I'm sending a box home with my Spanish study supplies and some of my scriptures...

This last week Sister Brown and I realized that a few things we've been doing have not been productive so we changed those and now our week is looking really good. We have a lot of appointments set up to teach members, which doesn't mean much if it doesn't lead any where, but Heavenly Father has opened the members up and many of them are starting to tell us about their non-member roommates and friends. For me that shows the ultimate sign of their trust. We've also been really blessed to have the members so willing to come out with us and teach. Being in a singles ward as a missionary is the best! Sometimes it's weird because we're not really peers right now, but mostly it's fine and the members are super helpful.

Beto is back in town and he literally said he's hungry to read the word of God. Wow! You know that someone is a truth seeker when they say those words and do something about it. He took his Book of Mormon to Mexico and read while he was there and he wants to read more. I always look forward to teaching him. We taught Hashem last week too. He's listening, but still has a hard time believing that Joseph Smith was a prophet. We had a really good lesson in which we implemented some teaching techniques- one of them being silence and letting the Holy Ghost do His thing. Sister Brown bore testimony and then we just sat there. Hashem was staring down at his lap for I'm sure 2 minutes (which is a long time when you're sitting in silence) and then said, "Wow, I'm feeling the Holy Spirit". It was amazing to hear him admit that. He is beginning to know it's true, and he's even taking the steps to show his faith by coming to church, even when it's inconvenient. I am so grateful for this chance to be a missionary. It's taken me awhile, but I can honestly say that I actually do love it and I love doing the hard work too. I feel like I'm finally figuring out what it means to be a missionary.

I've been learning a lot about patience and repentance- those seem to be two common themes that I'm facing all the time. We've had some struggles with other missionaries and I've been really mad- actually angry. I've been chastised for my anger and I've had to really work on letting things go. It's hard to be like Jesus Christ- I know it's worth it, I just hope I get there some day.

Daniel and Travis are getting baptized this month! We're not teaching them, but we've been very involved with their processes and I'm so happy to see how they've really accepted the Gospel and are acting upon it. The Gospel is a lifestyle, not a fad. I love seeing the light of Christ as it enters people and changes them. It's my absolutely favorite part about this work. I love this time!

The Gospel is true and it has been restored in its fullness. And the best part is that we get to be a part of it. I did get to see the RS Broadcast and it was wonderful. I love how each speaker talked about the Atonement, the love of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and I like how much they talked about our pioneer heritage. I'm so grateful for their examples and the legacy they've left behind. I think I want to get involved with DUP when I get home. I am developing a great love for the pioneers and their history. They did so much and we literally would not be where we are in life without their sacrifices and faith. It's amazing. I love you all so much. Have a good week and happy October!

Love, Sister Johnson