2 days...

This week has been so emotional. I feel kind of like a pregnant lady because I'm always feeling something crazy and confusing. Today (and don't tell this story to my parents until I leave, they wouldn't be very proud of me) I was pulled over. Again. Don't worry, I was pulled over last Friday too because my registration was expired. But that cop was super nice and said he might visit me in San Diego when his family goes in the next year. Today however, I deserved a speeding ticket. When the highway patrolman pulled me over (on the freeway mind you), I argued with him. I never argue with cops because then they get mad and are more likely to give you a ticket. I argued anyway. So he took my license and went to his car. And sat there. And sat there. Forever. During this time I burst out into hysterical tears. I was so mad at myself for being pulled over. Really, who speeds when they know they shouldn't and gets nailed? Apparently me. So the cop came back to my window as I was frantically wiping my tears and trying to compose myself and handed my license back. He said, "I'm giving you a warning, but don't speed anymore." Again I burst into tears as I said, "Thank you!" I'm sure he thought I was some crazy person. All I can say though is that he must have been inspired because even though I don't deserve it, Heavenly Father saw fit to bless me a little bit today. Even thinking about this whole thing makes me want to cry again. But this time in gratitude to a loving Heavenly Father who must be taking pity on me this week because I'm an emotional wreck.

Fortunately, I have heard that once you're set apart and in the MTC everything gets better. Not emotionally, I'll still be on an emotional, spiritual high a lot. But there is less outside stuff to make life a stressor. So here's to one more full day of who knows what can happen.

4 Days to Go...

Really? Four days? It's finally starting to hit me. This week I've been a nervous wreck! I've been super closed off and basically acting like a deer in the headlights. Yesterday at the temple with my friend Rhett I finally figured some things out. I'm being humbled before I go. Everything will be ok. I'm excited for all of this. All the stupid things I keep thinking about don't matter. I will be a good missionary. That pretty much covers it. But I'm still kind of nervous, even though I keep telling myself that I'm no and even though I have made my schedule so busy that I don't have time to shower (don't worry, I fixed that one this morning). But basically, I'll be relieved to be gone, I'll be glad to not be facing the unknown anymore. Basically, I'm about to set off on an epic journey and I am super blessed. It's been good, but now it's time to embrace the change.