COLORS!!!!

So I have a confession. I really love the new options they have to design your blog. They finally have cute backgrounds, cute colors and cute fonts. So here I am, playing with the brightness of my blog. It's loud and I love it!!! It's a celebration!

Day 30- What I've Learned In the Past Month

Wow, I can't believe it's been a month! So much has changed. I've been broken up with Brent for nearly as long as I dated him, I've had more medical stuff than I have in a long time and it wasn't even that much, I've made some really interesting friends, connected with old friends, and I've become a better skier. Mission plans are now almost complete and I'll be putting my papers in hopefully in the next couple of weeks. I've learned that an ex-boyfriend is almost engaged, and while it's weird, I'm so happy for him. I've spent some wonderful time with my best friends. But what I've learned most over the past month is that, yes, I love to talk about myself. But it really gets old after awhile. I wish I were doing more service in my life so I could blog about other really cool people instead of always what I'm doing. I've learned that I'm an amazing person regardless my faults though. I've also realized that I'm actually kind of cool, which was exciting. I've learned to love my little brother more and I've learned to help those who need me. I've decided that this challenge should be revamped and include better day challenges, but it was still fun to do.

So this is it people. Thank you for putting up with me for the past month. Thank you for all your comments and your support through my hard times. I love you all.

Day 29- Favorite Song

My favorite song is currently Love Me by JJ Heller.

Day 28- A Picture From Last Year And Now

Then:

Now:

Basically I have changed in that I have lived in a new state and a new city. I have bangs (but you can't see them in this picture). I actually like my jobs now. I'm not in school. I've decided on a mission. I'm on my way to be a legal adult. I've lost about 3 lbs. I've kissed four new boys in the last year. Other than that, I'm pretty sure I'm very similar. Maybe I'm more patient, but that's up for debate.

(By the way, that picture with me and Alan is basically the only one I could from around this same time last year).

Day 27- Why I'm Doing This 30 Day Post

I always wanted to post more, but I never really felt like I had a reason to. This is a fun way to post a lot, but it also has taught me a lot about myself. At Snow College I had a professor who made us write an 18 page autobiography so we could learn more about ourselves. This is kind of like my new 18 page autobiography.

Western Swing

I went western swing dancing (for reals) tonight for the first time in a long time. Yay for awesome funn-ness! I have learned that: 1. I'm kind of a bad follower, but I'm getting better. 2. It's bad to dance with shorter guys because I have this bad habit of elbowing them in the face. 3. My guy friends are awesome! And 4. There is nothing better for the body than to move it in time with some fun country music. Thanks Eric for putting the idea in my mind to go tonight.

Now I just need to get me a pair of these babies!

Day 26- What Do I Think About My Friends?

I LOVE THEM!!! They're all so super amazing! I've been muber blessed over the years with incredible friends and their incredible influences on my life. I'm pretty sure I would be depressed, in a hole of death and despair if I didn't have all of them to keep me sane, happy and on track. So thanks Scott, Mo, Jessica, Chann, Sam, Jon, Bestie, Justin, Donny, and everyone else who knows how to make me smile. You guys are the best!!

Day 25- What You Would Find In My Bag

Which bag? My ski bag? Well... ski boots, sometimes snowboarding boots, 4 hats, 3 pairs of gloves, an extra pair of snow pants, a gater with my goggles in them, a screwdriver, papers, GU, hair elastics, bobby pins, a knitted headband, and in the mornings my glasses case and contact lenses. If you look in my church bag you will find: a teaching manual, a manual on how to be a better teacher, about 6 other small pamphlets on other various items, the pocket size version of Preparing For The Holy Temple, a Preach My Gospel book, my hymn book, a journal, scriptures, the Young Womanhood Recognition program book, my wedding journal, a pencil, a pen and sometimes the current Ensign. If you look in my purse you will find: nothing. It is currently hanging on my doorknob waiting for the moment when I use it. Same with my backpack. Mostly I don't carry around a bag. Maybe I should, but everything I need I can carry in my hands.

Day 24- Last 5 Facebook Posts

1. "Quick people: favorite song and artist... ready go...!"

2. "Say anything worth saying"

3. "And of some had compassion, making a difference. -Jude 1:22"

4. "You're beautiful. Now go out in the world and make someone else feel beautiful."

5. "I'm going snowshoein'. Oh yeah!"

Day 23- Something I Crave A Lot

So... I'm a cuddle slut. Yes, it's true. I love cuddling, I love snuggling, I love hugs, I love being tackled to the ground (nicely of course).... and since I love it so much, I frequently crave a good cuddle. And even though it's only been two weeks since my last cuddle, I'm already looking for a new one.

Day 22- What Makes Me Different Than Everyone Else

Well... I am definitely different than most Utah girls because I'm not married. But also I love having big adventures. Like living in Philadelphia or Alaska. I want to do big things with my life and I won't be content living a small life. I think I'm a very loud personality, which many of my friends are, but it's really cool to see how we can all interact and be so different. So the main thing that makes me unique is how intense I live. If I'm mad, I'm mad. If I'm happy, I'm happy. For the most part, I don't live half way. And I really like that about myself.

Realization

So this past week was crazy, as you all heard. But the other night, after crying my eyes out I decided that things were going to be ok. So I had a moment, and now currently I am feeling much better about everything. I went snowshoeing, I had hot chocolate, I had a couple of very good talks about very important things with two friends and I remembered how much Heavenly Father loves me and His hand is always available to me. So that's it everyone, things are looking up.

Day 21- A Picture of Something That Makes Me Happy

I love sunsets. They are so beautiful and striking. Every time I see a great sunset, the world just disappears and the important things fall into place.

The Whine-fest Continues

Ugh!!! My brain hurts and my heart hurts and I'm so mad and sad and I've been crying my eyes out and I kick things which make my toes hurt and I yell at people and I ask the same people to give me hugs and he doesn't even care! He's moved on, leaving me behind in my insane psycho emotions and I can't freaking escape and this post makes me mad and my depression makes me mad and I want to be happy, but I'm stuck being mad and I just want to punch him, then kiss him, then run him over with my truck. This is RIDICULOUS!!!! Boys are STUPID!! I'm never dating another one as long as I live because they make me miserable. Or maybe I make me miserable, which makes it worse. And I'm dragging all of you through the mud, which makes me feel bad, but I don't know how else to vent because I'm sure my friends are sick of me like this, I know they are because I am and this is an easy outlet, but then it's public for people to actually see which is bad because there is a facebook link to this blog and oooh!!! I'm confused and angry and I wish I had never met him. But I want him back so badly and I don't even know why. I'm done. I'm just done. I need to get this under control because I'm so not dealing with all this crap I'm feeling anymore. And that is the extent of my thought process for the past four days. Stupid stupid stupid.

Caution: Don't Read If You Don't Like Whiners

So basically I hate boys. Ok, no I don't, but I really want to. I hate that post break-up feeling where you don't know what to do with yourself and you want to cry and scream and kick something and hug someone and not feel empty anymore. It's lame. I hate that feeling when you distract yourself only to have your ex brought to the front of your mind in full force, with no mercy to how much you're trying to forget them. The past few days of distracting myself have been really fun. I learned to snowboard, I rock climbed, I went dancing with some really fun friends and attractive boys, I slept in late, I tried sushi, I got ice cream with a friend I haven't seen for two years, I was taken to dinner and went on a $35 shopping spree at Wal-Mart. It's been a week loaded with new experiences, old friends and funny memories. Which was all great and such, until I got back into Cache Valley and everything kept reminding me of him. To top it all off, I'm sick and having a girl week and stuck at home so it's harder to distract myself while I just sit around. So here I am, complaining instead of learning from the experience and appreciating what good we had like all my friends tell me I should do. Mostly I am just all sorts of confused and I really hope that my emotions sort themselves out soon. Sorry that you all get stuck with my whine-o words. I just don't know what else to do with all my thoughts, so here they are. Out in the open for the world to see.

Day 20- Someone I Love

I really love my little brother Ryan. I don't tell him nearly often enough, and I harp on him way too much, but I really truly do love his little guts out. Some of my favorite things about him are his really attractive smile, his enthusiasm for life, how he'll play with me when everyone else is too mature to act like a goof, and how he loves me too. One of our little quirks that only he and I do are butt bumps. We'll stand with our backs to each other, he'll jump and I'll bump his bum with mine, effectively throwing him across the room. It worked a lot better when he was shorter than me, but it's still fun to do. Anyway, I love him soo much. I'm glad he's my little brother.

Day 19- Nicknames I Have

I don't really have a lot of nicknames. None of them ever stick. A couple from over the years though have been pretty memorable. My favorite was jokingly given to me by my friend RJ. Camela-Elephant. Another good one was Camilio-Bubblesworth, bestowed by Tanika Little. And Mo's loving name for me is Amco. She tried to say it in piglatin, but it didn't quite work so Amco is what came out. Those are my favorites. Others over the years have included: Cami, Camel, Camelot, Chameleon, Carmel... that's pretty much it. Most people just call me Camille and leave it at that.

Day 18- Plans, Goals and Dreams

For the past few years my life goals list has grown, but not by much. On said list are things like: study abroad in Scotland, teach English in Africa, intern in Washington D.C., plan weddings in California, meet the Prophet, visit every continent, and do something so spontaneous that I will look back on it and say, "I actually did that?!"

My more realistic goals include: going on a mission, meeting the man of my dreams, getting married in the temple, live life to the fullest, spend a lot of time out of Utah with my little family, spend a lot of time in Utah with my little family, and live happily ever after. I know, typical Mormon girl dreams. But we have those dreams and goals for a reason. Because they're good things to want.

Day 17- Someone I Want to Switch Lives With

This is a really hard one to answer. I don't want to be famous or slutty so that takes out most movie stars and music artists. I don't want to be any of my best friends because they're very similar to me so it wouldn't be much of a change. I don't want to be my sister anymore, maybe a few years ago that would have been my answer, but I like who I am and I don't compare myself to her anymore. But I guess all of this defeats the purpose of today's post. If I switched with someone, it would probably be Mckenna Lewis. My visiting teaching comp. She is incredibly kind, beautiful, talented and all around amazing. I'd like to be amazing like Mckenna Lewis.

Day 16- Another Picture of Myself

This is the most recent picture of me. Taken at a Butterfly Pavilion.

Day 15- Shuffled 10 Songs

1. I'm Gonna Getcha Good- Shania Twain

2. Still Holding Out For You- Shedaisy

3. I'm In A Hurry and Don't Know Why- Voicemale

4. Only You Can Love Me This Way- Keith Urban

5. Now We Are Free- Enya

6. Love Me- JJ Heller

7. Whatever Happens- Michael Jackson

8. Objection- Shakira

9. Man In The Mirror- Michael Jackson

10. Jonathon Low- Vampire Weekend

Confessions

So, this isn't part of my 30 day challenge, but I just want to get this out there. Sometimes I feel really bad, like I've let people down. My one friend went through a really hard time in her life. She got pregnant out of marriage and moved back to Wyoming. I was with her through a lot of it, but once she moved I didn't put in the effort anymore. I feel like I really missed out on having her amazing-ness in my life. And I feel like I injured our friendship. I've done this with so many people, that it's depressing to think about. So if I had one thing I could change about myself, this would be it. I would love more than anything to be a better friend.

Day 14- Picture of My Family

This is my family from last September. We're all pretty much the same, except Hannah is prego.

Day 13- Letter to Someone

I've been thinking about who I would write a letter to. It's been really hard, and letters are kind of long. So this will be a short one to my best friend who is currently serving in Perth, Australia.

Dear Elder,
Thanks for the support with my mission plans! I'm glad to hear that you finally get a new comp. Not that your last one was bad or anything, but eternal companions seem kind of tedious to me... in the mission field. But maybe I'm wrong.

How did things go with that family who excused themselves from church so much? Did they let you come back and talk to them? I'm sorry to hear you've been sick over the holidays. That really stinks. Are you feeling better? How are things for you? Happy new year! By the way.

So I'm actually writing from Denver right now. Dad, mom and I are visiting Annette and her family. It's been so much fun! We've gone to the aquarium, the butterfly pavilion, bowling, and we've done a lot of game playing. New years eve was kind of... different than I'm used to. It was very low key, but fun. We played a game called Dominion, which is a card game about getting the most victory points. I won the second round... not to brag or anything. Then we played Boggle. Do not ever play that game against my mom. It was crazy the words she knew. I bet it would be the same playing against your mom. We watched the ball drop, then went to bed after the games. It was, like I said, low key. No crazy dancing for me this year :( But hopefully I'll be going Thursday with MO! :)

Anyway, skiing is going well. I love it! And catering has been slow. My next shift is next Saturday, so I have a lot of free time this week. I'm now a gospel essentials teacher, which I'm really looking forward to. It's preparing me for my mission. I am dating a boy, so we'll see what happens there. But that's pretty much all that has been going on lately.

I hope things are going well in Perth. Be safe, don't fight with the koala's and have fun with your current comp!

-Camille